My 1st blog

Wow! Here I am in the land of "bloggers". I want to thank my wonderful husband for setting me up on this :)

I have no idea how often or exactly what I will be blogging about. I do know I felt led to start this and I know that it will be connected to my book.

I will start 1st with my journey for writing a book...

This is my first book. I did not start out to write a book. I began to journal at my doctor’s suggestion. I was on a quest to figure out why I made certain choices and decisions in my life. Specifically why I chose to marry a man who I knew had violent tendencies, and more than that, why did I stay for nine years. My doctor told me I was primed for that relationship. I did not fully understand what she meant by that, as my childhood was dysfunctional but never abusive. As I began to journal, I clearly saw certain patterns emerge early on in my life. Patterns of shame, guilt and fear. I began to see all of the missing puzzle pieces I felt I had in my life. Through my writing, I was able to put my puzzle together.

Shame, guilt, and fear, are all very real and identifiable emotions. Women often wear these emotions like a scarlet cord around their neck. While it can remain invisible to others, it is very visible to the individual. The scarlet cord can shape decisions for generations to come. In my book I tell of my own scarlet cord and the severe panic attack that led me to seek the help and freedom that I needed to move forward in my life emotionally and spiritually.
The goal of telling my personal story is to help others identify, acknowledge, and heal from feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. And more than that to know there is....Hope

I have finished my manuscript (although it still needs some editing) and I have officially completed a book proposal. Something that I feel very vulnerable about. You see I keep arguing with myself... I am not a writer, I am just a woman with a story to tell. I know that by doing this I am putting God in a box, but it shows that I still struggle with self esteem and confidence. OUCH! I thought I had moved forward...in reality I have, but I will always still be growing. I will never completely arrive until the day I see Jesus face to face. Its a process. Its one day at time. So, for now I will be content with what is in front of me... this blog! :) and my manuscript....it will be published one way or another with a publisher or by a self publishing company...that is up to God at this time... and either way I will be content.

I look forward to your input and comments... as I said the blogs will vary in subject but I would love to hear from you.