As my children continue to age and mature I find myself thinking about topics that I had dreamt about in years past, but never really focused much on them, because they were my hopes and dreams for when my babies got older. The time has come, as I feel myself filling my mind and heart with certain hopes and dreams, especially for my daughter. My daughter is my oldest child. When I think about her I confess, like most mothers I am filled with motherly pride and love for her. I have loved her since the very moment I thought I was pregnant with her (and that is true for my son as well). I have loved her through good times, sad times and even bad times. I have loved her even in the midst of her prodigal daughter journey. I wont even pretend that was a easy time to love her, it wasn't, but I did. At certain times in that season, even though I loved her I wanted to seriously hurt her. Not in an abusive way but in a way that said GIRL WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? HOW COULD YOU DO THESE THINGS TO YOURSELF...WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! I did manage (by Gods grace-not my flesh) to get the message across to her and without having laid one single hand on her. Once again the whole story is in my book so I wont repeat it here. God is good and He continued to call her back until she answered. Well, more like until she got caught, but she will tell you herself, she was glad she got caught, she was tired of running and tired of all the empty promises of the world.
I don't say this lightly....Praise God! we are out of that season. I suppose being on this side of things for a while now, I would go through it all over again, knowing the outcome that I know now. Although at the time, in the midst of that season, I doubt I would agree with that statement. Time heals all wounds and actions speak louder than words. My daughter has proven over and over her repentant heart, her desire to put God first, her love for family and herself. She is not perfect by any means but the growth and maturity is her fruit. I see it, hear and feel it in her. Its real.
Without telling to much more about her, I would like to tell you that she has a serious boyfriend. They have taken things slow and steady. They have made a point to get to know each other first and foremost and have kept God in the forefront.
This is the topic of reflection for me...because of their age, their desires and the seriousness of the relationship I find myself asking...what do I hope and dream for her for the future. I have even wondered to myself...what did my mom and dad want for me? what were the dreams and hopes for them from their parents. What about my mother in law...I know she loves me but what were her dreams and hopes for her son. What kind of woman did she dream of for a daughter in law.
Most of these things I did not find or act upon in my first marriage (to my daughters father) but I am very happy to say I was blessed to find these things in my husband Doug. Doug and I will celebrate 13 years in May.
1. I hope she always keeps God first and a priority in her own life (as well as in marriage)
2. I hope she never ignores a "red flag"...they usually never change color
3. I hope she knows that she knows, who she has chosen to marry
4. I hope she marries her true love
5. I hope they will both have open communication lines-even when it would be easier to cut the line
6. I hope her husband will be a man of integrity and honor
7. I hope she will be her husbands true love
8. I hope she always remembers that as she leaves to cleave, we are still here and will always be
9. I hope her husband shares many laughs with her and holds her tightly through the hard times.
10. I hope she is never afraid of her husband
11. I hope her husband never feels the need to intimidate or control her
12. I hope she trusts the man she marries with her whole heart in all areas of life
13. I hope he is truly a man after Gods heart
14. I hope he is man of self control
15. I hope he is a man who can embrace and accept us as her family
16. I hope he is man who accepts responsibility
16. I hope he is man who accepts responsibility
17. I hope he is man who is willing to work hard for his family but knows the balance of keeping family his priority
18. I hope he is wonderful husband and an amazing father
19. I hope he leads the family by prayer and example
20. I hope that she and her future husband love and serve each other well through out their life time together
I am sure I will add more to the list as more qualities come into my mind....it is not about looking for perfection, its about character traits, attitudes, actions, and heart motive.
My own experience has shown me those are things you can not settle for less on.
In case you are wondering I showed this blog to my daughter before I published it. She 100% approved it.