Friday, October 23, 2009

A Woman of Moderation

A few months ago I signed up for a Women's Bible Study group at our church. As I perused the options, I was looking for one that was fairly close to my home, as well as a title that would jump out at me. When I saw the study titled....A Woman of Moderation, I was intrigued and then when I saw it was within a fifteen minute drive from my home, I knew this was the one for me. A few weeks past before it actually started, I was getting excited thinking about the study. Was I finally going to learn the secret to being a woman of moderation in all areas of my life?

I unfortunately missed the first night but as I excitedly came the following week, I realized this study was not exactly what I thought it was. It is in deed about being a woman of moderation but it has a main focus on food. The author, from a very young age, has apparently struggled with food and weight. Her mother forced her to go to a "fat camp" as a teenager and she was only ten pounds over weight. While at the camp she was considered an outcast because she didn't fit in with all of the other girls who were well over a ten pound weight gain. She was miserable and felt ashamed that she let her mother down by being "overweight" so when she came home, she claims she promptly put the ten pounds she had lost back on, plus an additional five! That chapter gave me a bigger glimpse into the authors heart and I began to understand a little more of why she (in my opinion) was so over the top with this book.

In spite of my opinion, the author does have a lot of good points and information, like how easy it is to become consumed with food. Some of us eat out of stress or loneliness, some overeat out of fear or depression. Some of us over eat because that is simply how we were raised, "finish your plate", "here have some more", or fond childhood memories with a family member who indulged us with food treats. Some of us overeat because we just like to eat and it tastes good.

I am determined to find a balance in my own life from this study. My hearts desire is to be a woman of moderation in all areas of my life. From food, to attitude, to TV, music, reading material, computer time, exercise (well, I need to start this first to find my balance of moderation), time spent away from my family, time spent with my family, church commitments, friendships, keeping up with the house and yard, the list can go on and on, but the point is really the same whether it is food or anything else if its not done in moderation, it is not helpful or benefical.

The definition according to for moderation is

1. The quality of being moderate, restraint, avoidance of extremes or excess.
2. Being within reasonable limits, not excessive or extreme.

My prayer is to honestly examine all areas of my life and make sure I am within a limit or boundary of moderation. I know certain areas will be more challenging than others. Please feel free to share any tips or insight into your own life with areas of struggle or success in being a woman or man of moderation.

*Always remember its about striving for each day and when we fail, we can by Gods grace and mercy get back up and try again!

One day at a time, one moment at a time, there is hope

Monday, October 5, 2009


Fear is a small word but it can carry a lot of weight. I confess that fear has been a constant companion to me for most of my life. I did not realize how much fear controlled me until I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and panic/anxiety almost three years ago. Over the past several years my eyes have gradually opened up to how much fear has been in my heart and mind. Fear can cripple you. Fear can make you waste precious time and energy on unnecessary things. Fear can place you in a position to make a decision that you really dont want to make, but you are to afraid, so you make anyway. Fear can make you into somebody that God did not intend you to be.

Most of the fears I had were fears of disappointing someone, fears of not making the right choice, fears of making someone mad, fear of rejection, fear of what others could do to me or those I care about (emotional or physical harm), fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control, fear of others being out of control, fear of the "what if''s". I am sure I could add a lot more to this list if I kept going. Maybe you can as well.

Over the past several years I have been able to face certain fears and look back into my past and deal with them head on. It has not been easy and at times I did not want to push forward but I am glad, as I look back now, that I did.

As I began to open my eyes to the fears I had I saw patterns in my life. Which led me to question myself and wonder why I made certain choices and decisions in my life. Why did I marry a man who I knew had abusive tendency's and why did I choose to stay. Why did I allow my fear of what others would think or feel dictate things I did or did not do. Why did I feel so helpless to change my circumstances through out my life. Why did I assume so much of other peoples responsibilities. Why did I let fear have so much power over me.

As I began to unravel the tangled ball of fear in my life I started to see some of the answers to my questions. It took a lot of years for my fears to develop and they have not gone away quickly. Slow and steady, one by one, I am facing them. I am still facing some of them to this day. It's a work in progress. I have more hope today than I have ever had in my entire lifetime. I live my life trying to find the balance of wise fear and unhealthy fear. Sometimes that is a challenge but I know that I am not alone.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit Romans 15:13