Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman?

In my speaking topic; Turning Hopelessness into Hope, there is a section that I talk about having a balance of healthy pride and self esteem.  An example of this is the woman in Proverbs 31. While we should strive to be like her, at times it will be impossible, and I am sure if this woman really existed, it would have been impossible for her to be this perfect all the time as well. This chapter actually serves as a reminder to the integrity, strength, and heart motives that wives and mothers should strive towards.

 A side note that I also share with this topic is that my husband has tried for years to get me to believe there is a Proverbs 32 woman who likes to rub her husbands feet and massage his back every night. I have yet to find proof of this chapter, and if I ever do, I am sure there will also be a Proverbs 33 husband chapter that is filled with how much this husband loves to hand over his credit cards and never questions his wife's purchases, and wants her to get her hair and nails done regularly, along with providing a maid service, and personal chef for his busy wife.  :)

On a more serious note, as I consider the Proverbs 31 woman, I will break it down verse by verse (italic words are my interpretation)

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (valuable and precious).

The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life (she is trust worthy and dependable).

She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight (she is not lazy).

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens (she takes care of her family's needs).

She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard (she is wise with her money).

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong (she takes care of herself).

She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night (she is confident).

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle (she uses her time wisely).

She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy (she has compassion).

She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet (she makes sure she and her family are prepared for each season).

She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple (she is not frumpy or sloppy).

Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land (her husband is respected within the community -he is not intimidating- he is a man of integrity).

She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen (she uses her skills and talents).

Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future (she has confidence in who she is as a woman and is not afraid of growing old gracefully).

She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (she is wise and speaks to others with kindness and truth). 

She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness (she takes pride in taking care of her family and has found the balance of taking care of herself, her family, and her home).

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all" (her husband and children love and respect her).

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (she is a woman who puts God first in all she does).

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (the way she lives her life speaks to her character, she is a woman of honor and integrity. Her life is centered on God and her family).

I encourage you if you do not measure up consistently to the Proverbs 31 woman, do not be discouraged, take it one day at a time and focus on one attribute, beginning with centering your life on God's will and be willing to make your relationship with Christ a priority.

There is always HOPE!

31 Days of Hope Day 25

If you have a blog, you know you can check your statistics to see what part of the world your readers are coming from, you can see what time of day most of your readers are reading your blog, and you can see which blog generated the most interest. 

I was looking through my statistics and noticed my most popular blog was on December 9, 2009, which happens to be the blog I share about my book!  The blog is titled A Scarlet Cord of Hope Book Order.  The second most popular blog is one I wrote April 13, 2009 titled Hopes and Dreams For My Baby.  I am going to add more comments to bring it up to date.  I will ** the updated comments and type them in italics.

** When I originally wrote this in 2009, my daughter was almost twenty one years old and now she is almost twenty three years old.  She was also dating my son in law at the time.  They celebrated their first year anniversary this April 2011. 

As my children continue to age and mature I find myself thinking about topics that I dreamed about in years past, however, I never focused much on them, because they were my hopes and dreams for when my babies got older. The time has come, and I feel myself filling my mind and heart with particular hopes and dreams, especially for my daughter. My daughter is my oldest child. When I think about her, I confess, like most mothers, I am filled with motherly pride and love for her. I have loved her since the very moment I thought I was pregnant with her (and that is true for my son as well). 

I have loved her through good times, sad times, and even bad times. I have loved her even in the midst of her what I call her, prodigal daughter journey. I won't pretend that was an easy time to love her, it wasn't, but I held tight to my love for her, and more than that, the Fathers love for her. At certain times in that season, even though I loved her, I wanted to seriously hurt her. Not in an abusive way, more so in a way that said, "GIRL WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? HOW COULD YOU DO THESE THINGS TO YOURSELF? WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!"  By God's mercy and grace she finally softened her heart and allowed truth and love to over rule the lies she believed.  God is good and He continued to call her back until she answered. Well, more like until she got caught, however, she will tell you herself, she was glad she got caught, she was tired of running and tired of all the empty promises of the world.  (**My daughter shared her testimony at her church this past year, myself and my friend Cynthia, went to hear her share...needless to say I was proud of her and was reminded once again about how far she has come, how grateful I am for her and for the beautiful Godly woman she has become!)

I don't say this lightly....Praise God we are out of that season!  Being on this side of the situation for a while now, I would go through it all over again, knowing the outcome that I know now. Although at the time, in the midst of that season, I doubt I would agree with that statement. Time heals all wounds and actions speak louder than words. My daughter has proven over and over her repentant heart, her desire to put God first, her love for family and herself. She is not perfect by any means, but the growth and maturity in her shows fruit. I see it, hear, and feel it in her. It is real. (**I still see it, hear it, and feel it in her!)

She has been steadfast in her walk with the Lord and has finally begun to figure out who she is and what she wants in life. She also has a serious boyfriend. They have taken things slow and steady. They have made a point to get to know each other first and more importantly, they have kept God in the forefront. (**that serious boyfriend is now her husband!  We are very grateful for our son in law.)

This is the topic of reflection for me, because of their age, their desires, and the seriousness of the relationship, I find myself asking; what do I hope and dream for her for the future?  I have often  wondered to myself, what did my mom and dad want for me?  What were the hopes and dreams for them from their parents?  What about my mother in law? I  know she loves me, but what were her hopes and dreams for her son?  What kind of woman did she dream of for a daughter in law?

Most of these things I did not even consider in my first marriage (to my daughters father), however, I am very happy to say I was blessed to find these things in my husband Doug. Doug and I will celebrate thirteen years in May.  (**we celebrated fifteen years May 2011 and I am more in love with my husband each day!)

My Hopes and Dreams For My Baby 

1. I hope she always keeps God first and a priority in her own life and someday in her marriage (**she has)

2. I hope she never ignores a "red flag," as they usually never change color

3. I hope she knows, that she knows, whom she has chosen to marry  (**she has!)

4. I hope she marries her true love  (**she did!)

5. I hope they will both have open communication lines-even when it would be easier to cut the line  (**they do!)

6. I hope her husband will be a man of integrity and honor  (**praise God, he is!)

7. I hope she will be her husband's true love  (**she is!)

8. I hope she always remembers that as she leaves to cleave, we are still here and will always be  (**she knows!)

9. I hope her husband shares many laughs with her and holds her tightly through the hard times  (**he has laughed with her many times and I am sure even at her-in love of course!)

10. I hope she is never afraid of her husband (**she isn't)

11. I hope her husband never feels the need to intimidate or control her  (**he doesn't)

12. I hope she trusts the man she marries with her whole heart in all areas of life  (**she does)

13. I hope he is truly a man after God's heart  (**he is-and we are ever so grateful!)

14. I hope he is man of self control  (** he was before they married and he continues to be)

15. I hope he is a man who can embrace and accept us as her family  (**he does...in fact that was one of the things he told my husband and me when he took us to dinner to ask permission to marry her,  he said, one of the things that attracted him to her was the fact that she was family oriented and close with us and that family was important to him)

16. I hope he is man who accepts responsibility  (**he does)

17. I hope he is man who is willing to work hard for his family, but knows the balance of keeping family his priority  (**he does)

18. I hope he is wonderful husband and an amazing father  (** he is a wonderful husband for my daughter and I know someday he will be amazing father. I look forward to writing the blog that will someday say...I am going to be a grandma!)

19. I hope he leads the family by prayer and example  (**he does)

20. I hope that she and her future husband love and serve each other well through out their life time together  (**they are and I pray they will continue to do so)