Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman?

In my speaking topic; Turning Hopelessness into Hope, there is a section that I talk about having a balance of healthy pride and self esteem.  An example of this is the woman in Proverbs 31. While we should strive to be like her, at times it will be impossible, and I am sure if this woman really existed, it would have been impossible for her to be this perfect all the time as well. This chapter actually serves as a reminder to the integrity, strength, and heart motives that wives and mothers should strive towards.

 A side note that I also share with this topic is that my husband has tried for years to get me to believe there is a Proverbs 32 woman who likes to rub her husbands feet and massage his back every night. I have yet to find proof of this chapter, and if I ever do, I am sure there will also be a Proverbs 33 husband chapter that is filled with how much this husband loves to hand over his credit cards and never questions his wife's purchases, and wants her to get her hair and nails done regularly, along with providing a maid service, and personal chef for his busy wife.  :)

On a more serious note, as I consider the Proverbs 31 woman, I will break it down verse by verse (italic words are my interpretation)

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (valuable and precious).

The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life (she is trust worthy and dependable).

She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight (she is not lazy).

She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens (she takes care of her family's needs).

She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard (she is wise with her money).

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong (she takes care of herself).

She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night (she is confident).

She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle (she uses her time wisely).

She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy (she has compassion).

She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet (she makes sure she and her family are prepared for each season).

She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple (she is not frumpy or sloppy).

Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land (her husband is respected within the community -he is not intimidating- he is a man of integrity).

She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen (she uses her skills and talents).

Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future (she has confidence in who she is as a woman and is not afraid of growing old gracefully).

She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (she is wise and speaks to others with kindness and truth). 

She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness (she takes pride in taking care of her family and has found the balance of taking care of herself, her family, and her home).

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all" (her husband and children love and respect her).

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (she is a woman who puts God first in all she does).

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (the way she lives her life speaks to her character, she is a woman of honor and integrity. Her life is centered on God and her family).

I encourage you if you do not measure up consistently to the Proverbs 31 woman, do not be discouraged, take it one day at a time and focus on one attribute, beginning with centering your life on God's will and be willing to make your relationship with Christ a priority.

There is always HOPE!

31 Days of Hope Day 24

I am revisiting a blog I wrote on December 6, 2010, titled Second Hand... I have added some additional thoughts and wanted to share them with you today.

Last week I heard an interesting interview on Midday Connections. The women were talking about the kind of legacy we leave for our children and they challenged listeners to consider, as we all know, second hand smoke does affect those around us, but what about our second hand; attitudes, behaviors, habits, motives, and fears, etc.

While this can be convicting on many levels as you consider this, I encourage you to let this move you towards a place of healing and wholeness....a place of change.  Allow this to be a call to get rid of undesirable traits, patterns, and thinking, so that our children don't have to carry the same second hand issues into their families. We all have things in our life that we hope our children do not continue in, or worse than that, pass down to their children. How often do you see habits like smoking, alcoholism, financial instability, worry, promiscuity, anger, or even prejudice, carried over generation to generation? 

Does a  smoker actually say, "I hope my child grows up to smoke?"  What parent wants to see their adult child in constant financial turmoil?  Are alcoholics really happy? do they wish their children the same emotional baggage as they have?  Does a parent who has anger issues hope that their children learn to deal with stress and unexpected circumstances in the same angry way as they do?  Does a mother who lives with guilt, shame, and fear, desire her children to carry the same burdens? I believe with all my heart, that the answer to these questions is a loud NO. However, when we are unwilling to change our patterns, behaviors, and attitudes that do not reflect a Godly legacy, we are passing the same baton that was most likely passed to us, on to our children. 

This is a reflective opportunity to recognize all of our attitudes, behaviors, habits, motives, and fears do matter and our children are watching and learning from us. Knowledge is power and we have the opportunity to be honest (even if the honesty hurts) and aware to make changes. The key is...we have to be willing to change.  Change starts with an acknowledgment. 

It is important to communicate awareness of undesirable legacies to your children.  Children (and other adults) need to see our example of repentance and change.  They need to see that while we are not perfect, when we become aware of certain patterns, behaviors, and attitudes that do not reflect a Godly legacy, we have the option to stop, repent, and change at any given moment. We can begin to stop generational sin cycles!

Let's consider our legacy and all of the second hand issues we are leaving unchanged for future generations. What strong holds are we passing down?  Again, I encourage you not  to allow this to be a time of negativity, but rather an opportunity to become aware and pro-active.  Be willing to do the "heart work" to set the stage for generations of HOPE! 

One day at a time, one moment at a time...there is always HOPE