31 Days of Hope Day 16

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the fact that many christian parent's allow their teenage daughters to wear clothes that leave very little to the imagination. I recalled a few years ago, when my daughter was in high school, I was at a parent meeting and the topic of enforcing the dress code came up. One mom in particular stood up and said, "As a mother of a sixteen year old boy, I am asking that all of the parents who have daughter's, please enforce the dress code rule with them. My son has a hard time paying attention in class when he sees bra straps, cleavage, and thong underwear peeking from under the shirt that is to short and the pants that are to low." Some parents nodded in agreement and other's took offense and basically told her it was her son's problem and he needs to learn to mind his own business.

This conversation has stuck with me for years, and especially more so now that I have a son who is soon to be thirteen.  It's never easy to tell someone what they are wearing is inappropriate (at least for us non-confrontational people),  however, there have a been a few times when I have told a women and also a teenage girl, that their underwear was showing.  The woman was a mother at the school I worked at. She was sitting on the floor with us during devotion time and her thong underwear was showing.  There was two rows of children behind her, as well as other adults.  I gently tapped her on the shoulder and said,  "excuse me, but just so you know, you might want to pull the back of your shirt down, your underwear is showing." She was embarrassed and I was embarrassed for having to tell her, but she said, "thank you", and pulled her shirt down and kept putting her hand behind to check it.  The other time there was an older  teenage girl sitting in front of us at church and it was a similar situation and I felt embarrassed once again, but I whispered to her and she looked at me and said," oh, it's OK" and I said, "honey, no it's not, my husband and son are sitting back her and I prefer that they not focus on your underwear during service".  She looked back at me and breathed a heavy sigh (as if she was annoyed with me) and put her sweater on for the remainder of service. 

Both times I felt embarrassed, but I also felt like if it were me, I would want to know. It would not be intentional on my part!  Every time I have this type of conversation with other women they always agree with me and the scripture of Titus comes up: Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

As older women, it is important that we speak up and mentor the younger generation. As mothers it is important that we teach our children to obey the rules (even if we disagree with them). As women it is important that we remember and we teach our daughters that God created men (and teenage boys) to be visually stimulated. Unfortunately, I think in today's society, we have become desensitized and what was considered inappropriate to wear in public at one time, has now become acceptable. 

I would like to challenge all of the women whether you are a mother or not, let's be accountable and model appropriate clothing for our daughters and young girls everywhere. Let's also encourage our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, friends, to also be wise in what they choose to wear.  We don't have to be prudes by any means, but we can find hope in how we present ourselves.  

Here are three quotes that I have kept over the years that my pastor, Chris Williamson has said.

"The clothes you wear are like bait...certain kinds of bait attract certain kinds of "game". What kind of man are you trying to attract?"

"Knowing who you are dictates how you live"

"Don't allow yourself to be a stumbling block towards Jesus"

31 Days of Hope Day 15

Welcome to our half way mark!  On this day we wanted to give you a glimpse into what the other 31 Days bloggers are writing and share some of our favorite highlights from each others blogs. (I am doing this earlier, due to our vacation. I have taken time to schedule my blogs so that I would not miss out on sharing with you! There may be something posted more currently that I will LOVE more than what I am going to share now...if that is the case, I promise you I will add that when I return).

As I was looking back over the other 31 Days blogs, I confess it was hard to pick highlights. Everything is encouraging, helpful, and engaging! I feel honored and extremely blessed to be a part of this team.  These woman are truly Godly women who are pouring their hearts into their writing.  They have been prayerful about every topic and word that goes out.

I hope you enjoy highlights I picked!  I encourage you to go back to each blog and read their full entry, (if you haven't read it already). I added my comment at the end in bold. 

31 Days of Freedom (www.ParentPassion.com) Jennifer Laine. 

Day 8

Freedom comes at a price and sometimes we do not accurately calculate that price so when it’s time to pay, we want to back out.  Turn around – and forget it because the price is too high.  Just like the Israelites their expectations on freedom were not realistic they wanted it to be easy and comfortable.  When they were challenged they complained and whined and were ready to go back to SLAVERY.  Wow – they wanted slavery over freedom!?!

Often times when we walk out of bondage, we have a period of time when we feel uncomfortable and even scared because we are in uncharted territory.  What was miserable was also familiar and in a sick kind of way – comfortable.  Many times people give up on freedom and go back to slavery and defeat simply for comfort and ease.  If the Israelites knew where God was planning on taking them, they would not have doubted that their new found freedom was a good thing.

From this example I have learned two things:

1) Freedom comes at a price – but it is worth the price.

2) God does not always bring us freedom the way we expect, therefore, we must not doubt him if he takes us through the desert before we get to the promised land."

I loved this particular blog because I get it!  I understand the feeling of feeling comfortable in bondage. Praise the Lord I no longer settle for that!

31 Days of Love (www.Beckahshae.com) Beckah Shae (Beckah hasn't been able to join us regularly, however, I wanted to share one of my favorite songs from her) 

Surrender ( click to listen to song)

All to You, I surrender.
All to You, I freely give.
I will ever, love and trust You.
In Your presence daily live.
I’m giving up but not giving in.
Fought long enough, I don’t need to win.
Oh so broken
Finally I give all control,
Here at your feet I’m letting go.
Oh so broken
You gave your life for me to know, you always!
All that I have, is my confidence in your grace!

I Surrender, I Surrender

No matter how strange, it looks to them.
No matter the cost, or how painful it gets.
I’m drawing my battle line in the sand,
Marching forward, determined to give you all I can.
In You I declare victory!
Since I’ve let go of my own will.
Now freedom and liberty, reign in me!

I love the lyrics to this song. It's something I need daily reminders of...to surrender to Christ's will and not my flesh

31 Days of Purpose (www.sojourneroftruth.blogspot.com) Carla Hendricks

Day 5

The elephant I'm talking about isn't sin, although sin is quite rampant in our society and our churches. I'm talking about Christians giving up on life and giving up on God. It's all around us. Think about all the people you know that have checked out on church, their families and everything that they were living for just a year ago. If you don't have anyone in your life like this, let me give you a few examples.

* The pastor and pastor's wife that live in the same household, but, practically speaking, ended their marriage years ago

* The young woman who has taken medication, gone to Christian treatment centers, had much counseling, and still struggles to live a healthy Christian life

* The friend whose disappointments in life and confusion over God's will and direction have her at the crossroads of walking away from God altogether

* The family member that called to say he was ending his life -- today*

And the list goes on and on.

Tears are flowing from my eyes right now as I ponder each of these situations. Everything in me wants to do something, but I don't know what to do. All I know to do is pray for these folks. And pray I have. But we've got to become a collective force as the Body of Christ. We've got to intercede for the hurting folks in our lives. We've got to call them, visit them, love them with everything in our being.

Carla is so right!  So often we ignore or justify sin. We do not know what to do so we don't do anything.  As Carla points out we can pray, we can call or visit. We don't have to solve their problems, however, if we allow ourselves to take off our mask, risk being real, and encourage those around us, you never know what a difference that could make in someones life.  

31 Days of Victory (www.Moniquezackery.blogspot.com) Monique Zackery

Day 5

Let’s look at it this way: Have you ever heard a child get upset with their sibling and say, “Oh yeah? Well you’re not my brother anymore… ”? It sounds funny because we all know that there is nothing that child can do, in all of their frustration, to change the fact that their brother is still their brother. But it’s even more comical when the other sibling becomes upset about the accusation of losing his place as a brother. Why be upset over something that isn’t true?

It’s the same with our enemy. In his tantrum, he accuses us day and night of losing our position, security and identity in Christ. But nothing can separate us from what God has promised to be true for His children! Remember that God’s truth will always withstand satan’s accusations.

As a visual learner I love word pictures.  The picture that Monique painted with her words describing the brothers argument is so real I could see it!  It also helped me to understand, in a deeper way, how silly it is to believe the lies that the enemy tries to plant in my head and heart on a daily basis. Next time I hear a whisper or lie from the enemy, I will remember the brothers argument and simply smile and focus more on God's truth!

31 Days of Wellness; Mind, Body, Spirit (www.chelled.blogspot.com) Michelle Discavage

Day...Are you Walking in Freedom or Bondage 

We can be delivered, but we must choose it.  We must choose to get up, shake off the dirt, turn from our course leading to destruction, and walk confidently in the path set before us by Christ.  We do not need to sit and wallow in the muck of our miseries, and remain where we are.  We can get up and move.  We do not even have to sit and beat ourselves over the head, speaking words of condemnation and shame.  No, not at all.  Romans 8:1-4 says, " Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.  For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."

We can choose wellness, we can choose to feed our spirit rather than our flesh.  We can choose good nutrition that will feed and maintain our bodies rather than foods that will destroy it.  We can because Jesus did.  We can attain and sustain wellness by choosing Christ, and Christ alone  Choose Him over the desires of the flesh.  Choose that which gives life over that which destroys.

Oh, how I miss Michelle!  She and her family lived in Tn and they went to our church.  She also led our Women's Ministry exercise class.  She always worked us hard in that class and the same time she also encouraged us.  She has a way about her that challenges you, but inspires you, all at the same time.  What I loved about this post was how she points out we can change, but it's a choice.  The choice is ours.  We can stay where we are or we can do something about it. She knows first hand the struggle with the flesh.  She also knows the victory of wellness!

31 Days of Hope Day 14

"Hope never abandons you; you abandon it”

We abandon hope when we doubt God's promises. We abandon hope when we think that we deserve better than what God has provided.  We abandon hope when we see the glass as half empty instead of half full.  We abandon hope when we give up. We abandon hope when we try to control things instead of trusting God.  We abandon hope when we let fear control us. We abandon hope when we don't trust God's will, purpose, and plan for our life.

If you find yourself relating to one (or more) of the statements above there IS STILL HOPE for you! When I created a speaking topic titled Turning Hopelessness Into Hope, I began to see how guilt, shame, and fear keep hope locked up, thus keeping hopelessness alive. 

I will attempt to put an hour long speaking topic into a "nut shell"  :)

I felt the Lord giving me a picture of  guilt, shame, and fear as three big, burly, mean, armed body guards. Their job is to keep hope locked in a box, allowing hopelessness to run rampant and wild in the world.

There are three ways to defeat guilt, shame, and fear:

1.  Define guilt, shame and fear

2. Gain a scriptural understanding for guilt, shame, and fear

3. Put all of that into a perspective that is honoring and pleasing to God

Definition:

Guilt:  A feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, or wrong, whether real or imagined

Shame: A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace

Fear: A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain, whether real or imagined

Scriptural understanding

Guilt:  Guilt isn't all bad...in fact we need a healthy (key word-healthy) dose of guilt so that we wont continue in a harmful, sinful, dangerous, or unhealthy path way.  Guilt leads towards repentance.  We have to be pro-active in choosing repentance though.  Jesus calls us to repent.  From that time Jesus began to preach and say, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Matthew 4:17

Shame:  Shame is never from God.  Shame is a trick of the enemy to keep hope locked up and hopelessness alive and well.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5

Fear: The only fear we should have is the fear of the Lord.  It's about the balance again, a healthy balance.  The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. Psalm 19:9a  & The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep commandments, because this applies to every person.  Ecclesiastes 12:13  This doesn't mean we must live in trembling fear of God, as if He is going strike us down at the very thought of sin. He is our father, our hearts should desire to honor and please Him with our actions and thoughts. The healthy balance of fear towards God is what pulls us towards repentance.

A perspective that is honoring and pleasing to God

1. Stop taking responsibility for other peoples choices and behavior. For me it was realizing I was not responsible for my parents divorce, their sadness, their alcoholism, the feelings they had towards one another, nor the choices they made.  I also had to realize, I was not responsible for my ex husbands childhood, his anger, issues, violence, nor his choices. You can never love someone to hope.  They have to want it for themselves.  We can encourage, pray and love those who are struggling, however it is not "us" who ultimately saves them or finds hope for them.

2. Stop putting things under the rug. I had to see for myself that just because I didn't say something out loud or confront someone about what they did or said, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Ignoring, hiding, or covering up things, doesn't make them go away. There is a balance once again in confronting and speaking up.  We are not called to judge others or their motives, however we are also not called to be door mats either. One of my favorite examples of this is found in John chapter 8.  The story of the adulteress woman. In this story Jesus clearly doesn't ignore her sin, however ,He  makes those who brought her to Him think about their own sin.  Once they leave He doesn't shame the woman or yell at her: He spoke truth to her.  He showed compassion but at the same time He tells her to sin no more.  "And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more." John 8:11  Jesus never put anything under the rug.

Choose today to live in HOPE!


*Guilt, Shame, and Fear drawn by Laura Spence


*For further encouragement on topics of Wellness, Victory, Freedom, Purpose, and Love please visit my "sister" bloggers-the links for each site on the right

 

31 Days of Hope Day 13

The woman at the well is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. It is found in John chapter 4. This is where Jesus asked the Samaritan woman for a drink of water from the well. (I have to add that this is one of the sights I will able to see when I go to Israel in the fall!  And I recently learned that there is STILL water in the well and you can drink it!).  

One of the reason I love this story is because Jesus gives us an example of how to confront someone, how not to ignore facts and put them under the rug, and how not to take responsibility for other peoples choices.  If you have read my book or been reading my blog for a while, you know these are the three things I struggled with for most of my life:

1. Ignoring red flags

2. Putting things under the rug

3. Taking responsibility for other peoples choices and behaviors

In John chapter 4 we know that Jesus already knows the woman is a Samaritan and He, of course, was a Jew.  Samaritans and Jews were not supposed mingle together and they certainly were not expected to give one another a drink of water.  Jesus already knew this woman was living outside the confines of marriage.  The man she was living with was not her husband.  She had been married five times previously.  He knew all of this (and probably more!) when He saw her.  He could have easily waited for her to get her drink and move on.  He could have made small talk with her. Once He tells her all that He knows about her He could have "excused" her behavior by taking responsibility for her (or help her justify her choices). He could have also had a finger pointing moment with her, telling her what He knew by shaming or condemning her. 

The beauty of this story is that He spoke the truth in love to her.  He didn't shame her. He didn't condemn her. He didn't excuse her choices. He didn't pretend He didn't know anything. There are no exclamation marks of His conversation to show He yelled at her. He gave her an opportunity to tell the truth and she did. He then calmly told her what He knew. He tells her He is the Messiah and He can provide water that will never dry up; a well of water springing up to eternal life. The woman goes on to tell others about Jesus and many Samaritans come to believe in Him because of her words. 

If you are looking for hope, you don't need to look any further...Jesus is our hope! He is our well of water springing up to eternal life!

31 Days of Hope Day 12

A few days before we began our 31 Days together I asked some questions pertaining to hope. One of the question I asked was:  What does HOPE mean to you?  My friend Laura sent me the following quote from John Maxwell:

1. Hope shines brightest when the hour is darkest. 

2. Hope motivates when discouragement comes. 

3. Hope energizes when the body is tired. 

4. Hope sweetens when the bitterness bites. 

5. Hope sings when all melodies are gone. 

6. Hope believes when the evidence is eliminated.

7. Hope listens for answers when no one is talking.
  
8. Hope climbs over obstacles when no one is helping.

9.  Hope endures hardship when no one is caring.

10. Hope smiles confidently when no one is laughing. 

11. Hope reaches for answers when no one is asking. 

12. Hope presses toward victory when no one is encouraging. 

13. Hope dares to give when no one is sharing.

14. Hope brings the victory when no one is winning. 

15. Hope gives us the strength and the courage we need to make the most of life.

31 Days of Hope Day 11

Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. "And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house ; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. "Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. "The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house ; and it fell -and great was its fall." When Jesus had finished these words, the crowds were amazed at His teaching.  Matthew 7:24-28

This is one of my favorite examples that Jesus gives. The example paints a clear picture.  I can see the house on the rock; it's sturdy and built well. The "contractor" put a lot of time and care into the planning of this home. It was built to withstand all of the weather elements that were known in that area. It was built with intention and quality.

The other home is more like a hut built quickly and careless on the sand. The "contractor" for this home did not consider the weather elements, nor did they seem to care about the quality of materials used. It almost seems like it was built as an after thought without much purpose. 

  

I want my home, family, friends, work, and most importantly my relationship with God, built on a solid foundation. I want the contractor for the house on the rock! The interesting thing is, I AM the contractor.  It's up to me what kind of quality I want to "use" in each relationship. I can choose how much time I want to put into each relationship. I can be as purposeful and intentional as I want. 

If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then it's up to you the quality, purpose, and intention that you put forth and build your relationship on. The more you put into your relationship with Christ, the more HOPE you will find!

I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me.  Proverbs  8:17

Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You. 12 Blessed are You, O Lord; Teach me Your statutes. Psalms 119:11-12

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. "Trust in the Lord forever, For in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.  Isaiah 26:3-4


 *The picture of the home was found in Portugal and it's a stone house built between two rocks


 *don't forget to catch up with the other blogs: purpose, victory, wellness, passion, and love

31 Days of Hope Day 10

To celebrate 10 days together I wanted to share a poem. I have had this poem for several years. It's a reminder of what God HAS promised us.

GODS PROMISES

God hath not promised skies always blue, flower strewn pathways

All our lives thro’; 

God hath not promised sun without rain, Joy without sorrow, Peace without pain.  

God hath not promised that we shall not know toil and temptation, trouble and woe; 

He hath not told us we shall not bear many a burden, many a care.  

But God hath promised strength for the day, rest for the laborer, light for the way, 

Grace for the trials, 

Help from above, unfailing sympathy, undying love.

31 Days of Hope Day 9

"Committing to hope doesn't mean believing that one day we'll get what we want. True hope is believing in unchanging truths; that God is good, He has a plan, and we are loved."

In the midst of what we perceive as a hopeless situation, it's easy to believe the lies of the enemy when he whispers in our ears; God is not all that good. God doesn't have a purpose or a plan for your life. If God loved you, would He really allow this to happen?

The answers to those "whispers" are; Yes, God is all that good. Yes, God does have a purpose and a plan for my  life.  God allows free will and we are not robots, which means we may have to go through things here on this earth that He did not originally intend, however that doesn't mean He doesn't love us. There are some things we may never understand the reason's why to. Someday when we meet Jesus face to face, we will see the whole picture and even if we don't, I have to trust it wont matter anyway.  It's not about us. It's about Him.

When we hear these whispers in the midst of feeling hopeless, we need to find the strength and courage to YELL back to the enemy the truth:

For the Lord is good: His loving kindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness to all generations.  

Psalm 100:5

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him. Nahum 1:7

For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil  Hebrews 6:17-19

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, "For your sake we are being put to death all day we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered."  But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.  By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  1John 4:8-10

Be aware of the whispers of the enemy.  Those whispers contain lies. Put your faith in the HOPE of the truth!