Thursday, February 10, 2011

I am Pro Life But....

....I have had an abortion, and I have had more than one.  

I opened up with the above statement for a that anyone who may be reading this, knows upfront,  I am not finger pointing nor is my heart to judge.  I am here to share and encourage, and  I hope that I can give you some of the hope and healing I have found.  My deepest heart's desire is to share my story and change someones heart that may be considering abortion.  If that never happens, that's ok, because I will also be here to walk through the journey of healing and hope for those who need it.

I wont go into all of the details, because if you have read my book, you already know.  What I will tell you is that  having the abortion(s) added to the weight of my scarlet cord.  I felt tremendous guilt and shame. I also carried unforgiveness in my heart. Whenever the subject of abortion or Pro Life came up, I found myself always nervous and I tried to walk away from conversations or excuse myself in someway.
I was at a women's event nine years ago.  During the intermission, my friend and I, walked around the tables that were displaying books and such for sale.  I noticed we were getting closer to where Pro Life information was prominent on a table.  There was a woman at the table. She tried to make eye contact and conversation. I was trying to pass by as quickly as possible without making eye contact, but it was as if a magnet was pulling me towards that table, and before I knew it, I was talking to the woman and the next thing I remember was her offering to pray with me in a private room and I said, "yes".  The moment that I said, "yes", it felt like a huge weight came off of my shoulders. I really don’t recall all of her prayer or all that she said, (nor even her name), but I remember crying and sobbing like never before.  I released every emotion I kept hidden under my rug for many years.  As she hugged me, she stroked my hair, and kept praying over me. When I left the room to return to the event, I felt like a new woman.  It was the first time I had felt like my scarlet cord of guilt, shame, and fear, was actually turning into a scarlet cord of HOPE! I had been carrying the guilt and shame for over twenty years!
That was the beginning of healing for me in this area and the beginning of learning how to accept Gods forgiveness, forgive others, and forgive myself.  It was not something that happened overnight. It's been a process. One day at a time, one moment at a time.
 I have shared a personal story with you, so that you could see, that the moment you become pregnant, while you have a choice, the choice stays with you, whether you choose abortion, adoption, or to keep the baby.  Abortion may stop the heart beat and life, but it doesn't erase the situation, the emotions, or the memory. I  know there are many women (and men) who are living in the bondage of guilt and shame for their choice in abortion.

The state of TN has passed a law stating it is now illegal to force or coerce a woman or girl into abortion.  While some women or girls may go along with the idea out of fear, guilt, or the over whelming feeling that there is no other option, I can tell you there is.  There is help and there is hope.

If you are in a situation where you are pregnant and need a friend to talk things through or if you chose abortion (whether for yourself or encouraged someone else) and need a friend to walk towards that journey of forgiveness, hope, and healing, please email me and I will pray for you, encourage you, and connect you with those who can truly help you walk in HOPE.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit   Romans 15:13

1 comment:

  1. This message is so important! Thank you for letting God use your story of hurt and pain to minister to others. Lives will be changed and healed, because of your willingness to be so transparent and honest.


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